what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need water and some morals
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
