is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
