Don't you send me to vm
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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