It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
