what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
