That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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