I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
