Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize