Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
