so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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