Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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