I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
