she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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