pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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