i permit you to call me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Randomize
