we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
