isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
