dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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