I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize