i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
