this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you win again, gameday.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
