:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
