whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize