Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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