I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
