Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
