I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
