Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
