Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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