at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
