My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
