halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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