The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
