i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
