I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
