My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
