Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize