my mouth tastes like poor choices
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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