She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
