forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
honey bunches of taint.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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