my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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