called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
