why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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