"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
