Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
