He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize