We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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