dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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