On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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