I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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