...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
