Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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