Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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