I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
