Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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