all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
