Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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