; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
