So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize