im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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