can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
