I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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