so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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