I'm jealous of your bromance
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize