I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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