ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
