once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
