there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
