saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
