I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
