So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
