last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
