i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
