God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
