allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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