Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
