Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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