i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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