I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
